Glasgow Rangers – The Road to Seville

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Scottish football has received some rough press over the past few years, but as Rangers head to Seville for their first European final since 2008, people are starting to take notice of teams “North of the border” once more.

The last time a team from Scotland won a major European trophy was way back in 1983, where a certain (now Sir) Alex Ferguson masterminded an unlikely Aberdeen victory over the mighty Real Madrid in Gothenburg. This shows the magnitude of what Rangers have done in reaching the final this season.

Throw in the fact that they’ve also had a major managerial change mid-season and knocked out two of the Bundesliga’s top outfits to get there, it’s some achievement. And all this only a decade after they went into administration and were dramatically relegated to the country’s lowest domestic league.

With such a milestone reached, it seemed as good a time as any to reflect on a lesser discussed area of this great club’s history – the hair do’s.

So, without further ado, let’s run through some of the best and worst barnets of Rangers players new and old.

Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne

Gazza’s football career (and life in general) has to go down as one of the most colourful since George Best. He’s enjoyed incredible highs, including a cup final screamer and that iconic Euro 96 goal, to dark lows in both his personal and professional life.

This explains why it seemed such a gamble when Walter Smith persuaded him to swap the sun and glamour of Serie A for the hallowed turf of Ibrox for a club record fee in 1995. However, Gazza repaid this and then some as he scored thirty six goals from midfield in his first two seasons at the club and was named Scottish Player of the Year.

Almost inevitably, things went south in season three and he was sold on after a number of high profile misdemeanours. Luckily, he’d written himself into Scottish football folklore by then.

He arrived in Glasgow in a predictably unsubtle fashion, sporting a peroxide blonde crop for which he is now famous. He then grew out the top but kept the frosted tips and tight sides. Both of these looks appeared not to have dated well, but a resurgence of the bleach blonde look over the past couple of years (including Phil Foden at the recent Euro’s) show that Gazza may just have been onto something.

Verdict: Goal

Ally McCoist

McCoist is bonafide Rangers royalty having scored in excess of 250 goals for The Gers over a fifteen year period, winning nine consecutive league titles in the process. He is widely recognised as one of the greats of the modern era of Scottish football.

His club legacy was cemented yet further when he took over the reigns as manager further down the line. His tenure included the club’s darkest moment, their administration and subsequent relegation. He lead them to back to back promotions during this time before calling it a day.

Due to the number of years he wore the famous blue shirt, he sported a number of different trims which reflected the trends of the time.

In the early days his thick locks were worn in a mid length-party at the back-verging on mullet style, similar to Sean Bean at the same time. As we approached the Nineties then McCoist considerably shortened the back and sides but kept length on top to sweep loosely back.

By the time McCoist was named manager in 2011 his hair had turned grey (prior to the administration believe it or not) and he opted for a much tighter short, back and sides style cut.

Verdict: Goal

Mark Hateley

Englishman Hateley had a cultured career spanning over two decades, taking in stints at Monaco, Milan and Detroit Express (?) amongst a good few others. However, it’s the considerably chillier climate of Glasgow where he felt most at home.

He was the strike partner of the aforementioned McCoist, and to say the duo were prolific in front of goal would be an understatement. Hateley bagged over a century of goals during a richly successful five year period which included winning the league title in every season he was at Ibrox.

He won over many a fan across Scotland; and England where he won 32 international caps; but sadly his haircut garnered considerably less fanfare. In the early days his trademark Pat Sharp-esque mullet could have been somewhat excused as a style of the times.

Unfortunately, Mark opted to grasp onto this look for far longer than most others and whilst the density and volume on top waned considerably, the back continued to flow lankly down his neck and past his shoulders. He ended up looking like some sort of washed up WWF wrestler or someone who plays air guitar for a glam rock tribute band. Not good.

Verdict: Own Goal

Alfredo Morelos

One of the current Rangers crop, Colombian international Morelos has played a big part in their resurgence over the past few seasons.

Sadly injured for the rest of the season, he’ll be a big miss for the final as he’s presently the club’s record goalscorer in European competitions.

Morelos has been in Glasgow since 2017 and has been leading the line ever since. His consistency has seen him linked with moves to big European clubs on several occasions, but he’s seems as happy as ever at Ibrox.

Whilst he is thought to be in the prime of his career at the age of twenty five, there is one area in which there is definitely room for improvement – his lid.

From a barber’s perspective his haircut is nothing short of a hot mess. There appears to be a skin fade on the side – no problems so far, but that’s where the normality ends.

From here, it would seem as if the two guard has been dragged well beyond the point of no return on his left hand side, landing just off the centre of his swede.

Once here, for some inexplicable reason there is then a thick, abrupt hard part nowhere near where a part would normally be, before a whip of longer wet look quiff appears with the subtlety of a Donald Trump tweet before darting off to the right.

Verdict : Own Goal

So there we have it, a brief Rangers hair history in the build up to their most important game in years.

We would like to take this opportunity to wish them all the best for May 18th, whatever hair cuts are on show in Seville.

TJ – Barber at Ruffians Shoreditch

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